A reflection on either sides of Mount Faber. (Posted on FB on 10 May)
Before I go into my actual reflection, I must let non-cyclists know that as you cycle up, you can come to a stop and walk back down the road if you aren't fit enough to get to the top.
There are two sides to go up Mount Faber. The most common side is linked to Pender Road where you can also get to Henderson Wave. It is also the easier side. The other, harder side comes in from Kampong Bahru. Any seasoned cyclist would know this place very well.
Higher parts of both sides are one-way. If you are driving, you have to get to the top once you hit these parts. I went up a few times, alone or with a friend, and I always tell myself: I am committed to getting to the top, I must stick to getting it done.
Interestingly, the one-way signs are also a warning sign (for not-so-fit cyclists like me) where the steeper parts of each routes are approaching. All the more your resolve to get to the top plays crucial role.
It helps me reflect on my personal journey in life. Sometimes I gave up too early or I made a choice that I come to regret at a later time. It's as if God is telling me, each time as I push the pedal down to keep moving, "once you start ascending, you have to complete it no matter how hard it gets". Thankfully I'm fit enough to cycle up to the top without putting a foot down on the ground and stop at the side. But I can't say the same for my life thus far.
I've failed God so many times. He told me to be patient, I rushed to seek an outcome. He told me to hold on, I let go due to the hurt I was experiencing. He told me to stop, I decided to go. He told me no, I forced a 'yes'. It was why I struggled to be at peace with myself and my past. I couldn't forgive myself for all the failures in my life, I couldn't let go of the faults of my past.
It was only recently when God forced me at a one-way path -- do His will or never reach the top. I was enroute this same path a few years back but I turned back because I felt it was too steep to climb. Now God put me back to this route and I decided to commit to the journey. I don't know if I can make it but at least I am more at peace with myself than I ever was in the past few years. I can't see the end but I'm deep into the climb to give up now.
Now God asks me to be patient, so I'll wait. God asks me to hold on, so I'll try.